You are who you hang out with.
I can’t count the times that my Dad repeated this phrase to me during my teen years. I vividly recall rolling my eyes, and nonchalantly dismissing his counsel. I was so naive, and confident that I knew so much more about relationships than he did. These would be my friends forever.
As it turns out, Dad was right all along. And I learned the hard way.
During what I still consider the worst six months of my life, none of those friends could be bothered with me, and I’d never felt so alone.
I quickly found out that they were only “good time” friends, but I still felt like they were all I had. They couldn’t deal with the the imperfect me, the depressed me, or the me who made mistakes. I have to mention that I was selfish too. I wasn’t a good friend either. I had become the same as the people I hung out with, just like Dad said.
Fast forward to my wedding day when Jason and I started our brand new life together. I still felt loyal enough to those friends to invite them to share in our joy. They all RSVP’d that they were coming, but not one of them showed up. How symbolic! I actually remember feeling insulted at first, but excited when I realized how appropriate it was that none of them came. As I looked around the room on the most important day of my life, my heart was full. It was filled with people who I loved dearly. And who loved us back enough to support our decision to become one.
Since then, I’ve been fortunate enough to gain some real friendships. And over the past few months I’ve dealt with some significant pain, and disappointment, but also blessings beyond what I could have dreamed. This time around, I’m far from alone. Four or five of my closest friends have consistently called, prayed and on occasion cried with me. They’ve also been around to celebrate when things get better; and things always get better.
I’ve honestly never felt so loved.
I’m proud of who I surround myself with these days, and I do believe that I’m a less selfish, more loving friend than I used to be. Long gone are the days that Dad evaluates my choice of friends, but I think he’d approve. I think I finally got it right.
What was your dad right about?
