Oh, I’m Just Wading in the Shallow Water Again

So I have a big car. 

During the Ten Month Blur, the air went out on my Jetta (okay, some other expensive things went out too), and somehow I ended up with one of these:

It’s a Ford Fusion.

Warning: What I am about to say is very shallow.  Actually, probably the rest of this little story will be shallow.  I feel better when I acknowledge being shallow before you can judge me for it.  Ahh. Self protection. 

I am way off topic.

I am thankful to have a working, new car, however, I’m not thankful for the following new car related issues:

1. The Jetta was almost paid off.  A brand new car payment is a major bummer.
2.  Before the purchase, I didn’t notice that I am actually too short to see out of the back of the car while backing up. So I have almost backed into several people.  I did do a test drive which included backing out of a parking space, so I blame The 10 Month Blur (also known as The Time I Almost Lost My Mind.)
3. I just can’t park the car.  I am ALWAYS crooked.  When I attempt to ”fix” it, I am normally still crooked, just in the opposite direction than I was before.  So I have given up on parking straight and have settled for at least being in between the lines.  I am now one of “those” people.
4. I am feeling ever so slightly like a soccer mom while driving the car. It’s so much larger than my Jetta was.  Because of this new concern,  I have told my kids that they can play any sport but soccer.  I am kidding. l just hope they wait until I am over this whole “insecure about being a mom AND driving a big(ger) car” thing.  I am sensing a deeper issue here.

The point is that miss my Jetta.  I don’t care that it had over 200 thousand miles on it, or that it was slightly dented on one side from the time I hit the big white van that was carrying about 10 tourists. Or that when I first got it, I put a Chick-fil-A  Polynesian sauce (gross) in the center console, in the middle of the sizzling, Florida, summer heat. The sauce exploded and got really sticky. I didn’t notice it for a month or two, so it became a thick, hard substance that cooked into the velvety liner.

Now that I have revealed the depths of my shallowness, I will stop. Just please don’t tell me about all the deprived people out there who can’t even eat, much less have a car with AC.  I KNOW.  I know. I actually haven’t been able to get this image out of my head this Christmas season:

This image (I’m not sure of the source since I first saw it on Facebook) put things into perspective for me, but somehow, I still find myself in the tension between my reality, and the very different reality of much of the rest of humanity. 

Rather than be consumed with guilt though, I am just trying to remind myself to be a little less materialistic, a lot more thankful, and to extend myself grace when I do act a bit shallow.

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